Scoring: Give yourself one point for each "true" answer.

10 or above: Your marriage appears strong. Because you value each other highly, you have a shield that can protect your relationship from being overwhelmed by any negativity that also exists between you. Although it might seem obvious to you that people who are in love have a high regard for each other, it's common for spouses to lose sight of some of their fondness and admiration over time. Remember that this fondness and admiration is a gift worth cherishing.

Below 10: Your marriage could stand some improvement in this area. Don't be discouraged by a low score. There are many couples in whom the fondness and admiration system has not died but is buried under layers of negativity, hurt feelings, and betrayal. By reviving the positive feelings that still lie deep below, you can vastly improve your marriage.

Marilyn Atlas, LCSW, has successfully worked with couples for over 30 years. She believes that most marriages are worth saving because most problems can be solved. Marilyn uses techniques that are based on current research which shows that couples can make sudden shifts which enable them to transform their relationship.

Recently, Marilyn expanded her couple counseling knowledge base. She completed an Externship in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. Emotional Focused Therapy or EFT has been thoroughly researched to show that it is one of the most effective approaches to helping couples change their distressed relationships. According to the EFT research, 7 out of 10 couples are able to recover from their distressed relationship and 9 out of 10 show significant improvements. Dr. Sue Johnson, Ed.D., co-founder of EFT, has found that what human beings desire the most is a secure emotional bond. Many times, a couple can get into a pattern or “dance” that does not work for them. By learning that the distress in the couple relationships is caused by the pattern and not the individuals, the couple can recognize the dysfunctional pattern and be able to “step out” and develop new healthier and happier relationships.

Marilyn has also been trained in the Couple Communication program by Dr. Sherod and Dr. Phyllis Miller. Dr. Millers’ research shows that the Couple Communication Program has helped more than 600,000 couples improve their communication skills and relationships.

*John M.Gottman, PhD and Nan Silver, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Three Rivers Press, 1999, pages 66-67.